tradgedy strikes' poems

this is the first one i wrote, i dont think its that great. tell me how you like it, and i would appreciate some constructive criticism!

[[it doesnt have a title yet]]

I slide to the floor
shut my eyes.
my wrist weeps
and i tell myself
It doesn't hurt,
it doesn't ache,
it doesn't burn.
the razor drops from my hand
i watch it fall...fall...
i feel like i, too, am falling
down...down...
it hits the floor...echoing
my limbs begin to go numb
and i smile.
Now, i will be free.
Haunted by the past,
Terrified of the future,
Alone in the present,
But in death, i am free.

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that was good.alot better then some of the other whiney poems posers try to write. ALOT better. i like it

totally read the title as "one of my first orgasms" for some reason.

needless to say, this wasn't as interesting as I had hoped.

heres another one
wrote it today while i was...thinking
dont have a title for this one either

Alone at night
I lie awake on my bed
remembering those days with dread.
He filled me up
with so much fear
killing everything I held so dear.
He clasped his hands
around my soul
leaving marks as if they were coal.
I wanted to hide
I tried to run away
but he stuck to me like clay.
I freed myself
from his clutches
trying to forget his touches.
So here I sit
alone at last
unable to forget the past.
I am petrified
for, next year,
he will be here.

I envy ANYONE with even a low amount of poetry skill XD
I could never write something like that. I'm a writer, but when it comes to poetry, I just... "o.O"
They're actually alright

will this ever end?
will my soul never mend?

haunted by the past
knowing this will last

i try to hide
running from the tide

but i know i will be found
and buried deep inside the ground

a dark and scary tomb
destined as my doom

the tide looms overhead
and i know i will soon be dead

i shut my eyes with bliss
and wait for death's sweet kiss

Alone in my room
Held by the hands of darkness,
I await my death.

Are you listening?
This darkness will not subside
Save me from myself.

I walk out the door
And stare at the night sky
I leave. wont look back.

Haunted by the past,
Terrified of the future,
Alone in the present,
this part I like very much
But the over all theme I do not like.


Alone at night
I lie awake on my bed
remembering those days with dread.
He filled me up
with so much fear
killing everything I held so dear.
He clasped his hands
around my soul
leaving marks as if they were coal.
I wanted to hide
I tried to run away
but he stuck to me like clay.
I freed myself
from his clutches
trying to forget his touches.
So here I sit
alone at last
unable to forget the past.
I am petrified
for, next year,
he will be here.
this one is better theme-wise, but the structure is lacking, and the rhymes are forced

I walk out the door
And stare at the night sky
I leave. wont look back.
this fragment is good.

You've got potential as a writer

i wrote this one in class. it just came to me and i wrote. it took about ten minutes. tell me what you think

Unkept Promises

My chest tightens
I cannot breathe
I try to claw my way
Up to the surface,
Only to be pushed father down
The water presses in,
Crushing my entire being
But i dont give up
You told me to never give up
So i fight it
Clawing, thrashing
Towards the light
Towards you
I break the surface
I look around
You are nowhere in sight
I take a deep breath
As the tide hits me
It pushes me down
Farther, farther
Deeper, deeper
Darkness closes around me
I see a tiny speck in the distance
Is that the light?
Water fills my lungs
I cannot breathe
You promised youd always save me
You said youd protect me
I choke
The light is hardly visible
I raise my hand
Trying to grasp it
I hope at any moment
Your hand will close around mine
And pull me to safety
I try to fight,
But dont have the strength
I can no longer see the light
I shut my eyes
And sink into the nothingness
You promised...
But where are you now?
When it matters most?
I let out the last of my air
You lied.
Where are you?
I need you
Save me...
Pressure in my chest.
A tingle on my lips.
A flutter in my heart.
Air in my lungs.
I blink open my eyes
And see your worried face
I cant move
I cant feel my limbs
But i dont care
The only thing that matters
Is you
You kept your promise
You found me
You keep pushing on my chest
Trying to force air into my lungs
Never giving up
I want to tell you something
But i cant speak
My vision clouds
And i know that
You were too late
I start to lose sight of you
But i hold on,
Panicking
I need to tell you.
I struggle and take my last breath
I exhale, and form my last words
'I love you'
I look at him once more
And, as my heart beats its last beat,
I see its not you.

[[sorry its so long!!]]

I hate them...

He grabs my arm and pulls me aside
Covers my mouth
And laughs,
Amused at my struggle.
He touches my body, holding me tight
I cry out for anybody
Please save me
He tosses me to the ground,
Crushing my body with his
Help me..
But help never came.