its coming back to me. i dont know what to do.

that feeling of wanting to cut is coming back to me.
ive stopped cutting a long time ago and have been cut free for 3 years. but that feeling is coming back to me. ive been trying to stay positive in life and its worked for those 3 years, but shit has gone down and i have the feeling of cutting again. ive lost my absolute best friend to suicide. he hung himself last week, and i dont know what to do now. and ive falling behind in all my classes in college and im prolly gonna get dropped from them. and since im an adult my parents cant help me anymore with all that shit. ive thought about going to see a counselor but i dont wanna pay a shit load of money for advice. someone help me. i really dont wanna cut again, but that seems like the only way i can deal with everything right now. im afraid that if i start cutting again that im gonna get addicted to it and im prolly gonna end up commiting suicide.

i dont know what to do.

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Hey

I've lost friends that way to.
It really hurts so badly but hurting your self wont help in fact it will make it worse.
You may be an adult but your parents are still your parents and they still love you. Reach out to them or any one else that you can. Please don't cut your self.

Please don't give in to the the urge to hurt your self.

You sound like a good person so give your self a fair chance, Right now your studies are secondary to the whole picture of life. Right this minute you need to take care of your self.

I wish I could be there for you in person if for no other reason but to give you a hug and to keep your mind off hurting your self.

Be strong for your friend and for your self.

Chris

thnx man. yea its hard not to cut again. but im still fighting it. i feel like im losing the fight though. college is tough, i dont wanna drop my classes but i might end up doing that.

Hey

Your welcome.
I know you are in real pain right now and the urge is so strong but ya have to fight it man.
If you do cut you have given up and it will only get worse.

It's like quiting smoking. All it takes is one cig. to get back in the habit.

School is hard but sometimes life is harder and you have to focus on the most immediate problem at hand. I'M sure you are more than smart enough to handle school but until you deal with your pain and lonelyness you will not be able to focus on school work.

You need to just take a break even if for only a day or two for a change of pace and scene to refocus and to get emotionally prepared to move forward.

If you have to drop your classes you can always go back.

Just remember if you are un happy enough to cut your self than you need to deal with that issue First and every thing else can wait.

Believe me I really do feel for you my friend.

Chris

i hear ya man.
the only thing is that if i drop my classes i just made my parents toss $800 down the drain.

EmoKid09 wrote: ive lost my absolute best friend to suicide. he hung himself last week, and i dont know what to do now. and ive falling behind in all my classes in college and im prolly gonna get dropped from them.

you need a break, you need time to grieve

EmoKid09 wrote: im prolly gonna end up commiting suicide.

try planning a future that doesnt end any time soon.

There are also many free helplines you can call
A quick google should give you a nice list of free services in wherever you live
There's a lot of help out there if you know where to look

thnx you guys. it really means a lot.
yea ill definately look for those help lines

DO. NOT. CUT.
Repeat it to yourself.
Cutting solves nothing, unless you want to solve for therapy, emergency rooms, and depression pills.
Use your brain, and do something healthy as an outlet.

EmoKid09 wrote: and since im an adult my parents cant help me anymore with all that shit.

Why is that? Family can help each other, no matter what age.

EmoKid09 wrote: ive thought about going to see a counselor but i dont wanna pay a shit load of money for advice.

Why not? If you're not able to, ok - but you don't WANT to? What is there more important than your health?

well of course they will help me, i meant all the legal stuff and what not cause im 19. like i guess if im not enrolled as a full time student in college i get taken off of my moms insurance. so a simple doctor visit goes from $10 to like $150.

rockitemokid wrote: DO. NOT. CUT.
Repeat it to yourself.
Cutting solves nothing, unless you want to solve for therapy, emergency rooms, and depression pills.
Use your brain, and do something healthy as an outlet.

i know, ive been cut free for 3 years, but that feeling of wanting to is coming back. i guess once you start you can never really give up. i havent cut yet, but like i said, i feel like im fighting a losing battle.

You can give up addictions, trust me.
Cutting is a form of self harm for feeling things.
Sometimes it becomes habit accidenetally, and it just feels natural to go back to it, almost good.
You have to break the habit.
It's the same principals as dropping junk food, or starting a new job.

I know how you feel. its only been about 2 months for me. i see my scarres and im just like "never again" but the urge is still there. i drown myself in music and just leave stressfull situations. i have friends that help and let me hang with them to get my mind off it. or i loose myself in a good book. i dont know what its like to loose a friend like that, but my friends almost do. i tried. sometimes u feel like theres no way out, but its up to you to find something that makes u feel good and helps.
Rachel