Lifeless-Poem

Cut My wrist let me feel my pain and as I do let my blood drain.
Let them take it from my veins, as I become as lifeless as I feel Inside.
I'm somehow dead but somehow alive and Immoralitys used as my discuise.
Deep,Depressing feelings fill the air as you find my Icey,Cold and wet body laying there.
Nobody could explain what why but what they don't about is my sick demented game and all the while I voices saying " Do it,Do it dont be afraid, Remember it's your sick demented game."
As I go deeper the less pain I feel and then you'll find me laying there Icey Cold and Slippery wet, all washed out pale and dead.

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umm, no.

Heaven Shunned
Slender beams of moonlight enter Slender beams of moonlight enter
this darkened prison as I kneel,
always in pain, always cold,
frozen here,
waiting.
Robed forms wrought in panes of glass loom as
dust dances in the air,
forming an image in my mind,
penetrating my darkened soul.
Terror on a deathless face.
I raise my head, now crying out for
this uncaring mortality.[/size

What the fuck is this shit?

umm... k... not cool...

good poem and all, but needs better phrasing

ZRC wrote: What the fuck is this shit?

Microsoft Word is your friend. It will fix both grammatical and spelling mistakes in your poem.
The paper clip is also friendly and happy.