This popped into my head...

This popped into my head...

by Angeliquely on 06-30-2009 3:17 am

Exhale the breath.
Forget it all.
Let the water take you,
Before the fall.

Don't think of anything.
Die like a sin.
Feet touch the ground.
Sand tucks you in.

Don't think of living.
You're too far down.
Breathe in the water,
and let yourself drown.

Keep yourself grounded.
Don't open your eyes.
Pray someone won't find you,
You've made perfect lies.


I don't know, it was stuck in my head, do you like it? : D

Edit: Fixed. Thanks, Andrew.

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by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 06-30-2009 3:44 am

Its.. beautiful..
just perfect..

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RE: This popped into my head...

by HxC FiALURE on 06-30-2009 3:49 am

O.O
amazing
I...I love it.
<3

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by iamthewicked on 06-30-2009 3:52 am

i like it alot.
(you okay with critizism?<-- i cant spell that lol)
i could like it more.
if it just popped in your head, then of course, you can always make it better!^-^
its really very beautiful,
yet i feel like its missing something...
i dont know.
good job<3

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by Angeliquely on 06-30-2009 4:08 am

I know. I feel like it's missing something too...

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by Kiyoshi on 06-30-2009 5:40 am

i really like it! Smile so pretty, you are talent at poetry..^^! <3
i really like this:
"Feet touch the ground.
Sand tucks you in."
those two line give me a lot of imagery..so nice Smile

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by young angel on 07-03-2009 12:05 am

I love it, it's amazing.

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by fearless on 07-06-2009 2:07 am

yeah nice job, sounds like something I'd do
the constant cgaps every two lines make it harder to read.... 4 lines at a time is good Very Happy
Keep it up... youre a great writer Smile
All the best. Andrew

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