poems by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx

poems by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 06-30-2009 2:29 am

Where there is air,
I breath it.

Where there is insanity,
I drink of its cup.

Where there is pain,
I experience it.

Where there is love,
I search for its purity.

Where there is death,
I revel in it.

Where there is life,
I feel numb.

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

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why do I still care?

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 06-30-2009 2:33 am

You said that you loved me,
and I didn't care what people said.
Now I know it's just a lie,
a trick to get inside my head.
And now you're just laughing,
i know this isn't fair.
You ripped my heart to shreds,
so why do I still care?

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-01-2009 6:56 pm

yea so tell me what you think..

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

by Raikudemon on 07-02-2009 3:31 am

Hmmmm.

Raikudemon
Heaven's a lie.
 
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by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-02-2009 2:05 pm

Rella wrote: Hmmmm.


Could you add a little more to that please? im not sure if thats good or bad, or what i need to make it better.

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

RE: poems by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx

by LostInTransition on 07-02-2009 9:46 pm

I think she was just wondering where the poetry started...

It's ok, i don't see it ether.

LostInTransition
Fresh Meat
 
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by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-05-2009 4:01 pm

I'm sorry for the pain I cost,
I'm sorry for the love we've lost.
It's my fault that you're mad at me,
and I keep blaming it on everything.
I'm the one that makes you cry,
I'm the reason for the tears at night.
I try to make it good again,
so we can be in love until the end.
But I mess it up everytime,
I'm sorry.

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-05-2009 4:02 pm

I am your lover,
or nothing at all.
We were best friends,
and you let us fall.
All those times we had are lost,
all the memories are gone.
I am your friend and lover altogether,
now it's nothing... at all.

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-05-2009 4:04 pm

You are my hero,
true friend indeed.
You are there,
when I am in need.
and pretty blonde hair,
your beautiful smile.
Makes me want to run a mile.
I will do what you want me to do.
Because you're there for me,
so I'm there for you.

I wrote this a REALLY long time ago. so don't hate this one please?

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-06-2009 2:14 pm

comment please.

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

by Raikudemon on 07-06-2009 5:47 pm

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx wrote:
Rella wrote: Hmmmm.


Could you add a little more to that please? im not sure if thats good or bad, or what i need to make it better.
They're good, over all I like =)

Raikudemon
Heaven's a lie.
 
Posts: 9887
Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 100
Location: Atmosphere.

by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx on 07-10-2009 4:45 am

thanks.

xxlovexkillxbitchesxx
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 65
Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Age: 99
Gender: Female

RE: poems by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx

by Takato on 07-10-2009 3:57 pm

Good use of brevity but nothing stuck out to me. I liked the voice of the speaker but other than that this poem was a bore. In fact, all of the poems read the same. The same sing-song rhyme scheme and the same theme of lost love (with the exception of the first and last poem). I would suggest you work on the imagery in order to make the lines pop more (in all of the pieces, including the first and last ones). Try to show more (i.e. tell a story through your poetry) rather than tell, (i.e., ranting about how your life sucks.)

Takato
Almost Emo
 
Posts: 64
Joined: 17 May 2009
Age: 20

RE: poems by xxlovexkillxbitchesxx

by MelodyOfMalice on 07-10-2009 7:30 pm

nothing rlly jumped out to me either
but i like the idea and writting in the first one

MelodyOfMalice
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