Eye contact

Eye contact

by Venfort on 10-01-2008 1:00 pm

My first poem in english. In free verse.

Eye contact.
Cupids own arrows slash right through
the blood pumping muscle in my chest.
A killer for sure. I seem to lose focus
and I feel an urge to look the other way.
My eyes unintentionally wander back to her.
I want to see her face.
I want to see her eyes gaze out
the window in an attempt to avoid mine.
I wonder if she feels the same magnetic force,
the locking that occurs
when two sets of pupils meet.
Those super massive black holes that
draw everything to it. She is right there.
Not further than two metres away from me.
A maximum of five heartbeats away.
The heat builds up as blood is
pumped right into my chest,
out of my pierced heart. As she rises,
invisible hands tie knots with my guts and
a million butterfly chrysalides burst inside.
With not even a glance my way as she walk out,
all my internal organs are removed.
Disappointment.

Venfort
Scene Kid
 
Posts: 117
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Age: 19
Gender: Male
Location: Göteborg, Sweden

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by Venfort on 10-02-2008 1:17 am

Not a single comment? Sad

Venfort
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RE: Eye contact

by PunkRockAngel4Life on 10-02-2008 2:11 pm

I like it
:]

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by shadowslight on 10-02-2008 2:14 pm

That is artistic! I like the way you describe things. great job!

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by loves3daysgrace on 10-02-2008 3:23 pm

I liked it as well
Smile

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by Venfort on 10-02-2008 4:41 pm

Woho! Very Happy
Thank you all! This is as I said my first and only poem in english. Glad you liked it! ^^

Venfort
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Posts: 117
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Gender: Male
Location: Göteborg, Sweden

by LostHearts on 10-02-2008 5:22 pm

I liked it to ^^

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by Venfort on 10-02-2008 5:27 pm

LostHearts wrote: I liked it to ^^

Yay! What a confidence booster! Very Happy

Venfort
Scene Kid
 
Posts: 117
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Age: 19
Gender: Male
Location: Göteborg, Sweden

by Venfort on 10-03-2008 1:56 pm

*bump*

Venfort
Scene Kid
 
Posts: 117
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
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Gender: Male
Location: Göteborg, Sweden

RE: Eye contact

by beautifullyxbroken on 10-03-2008 3:41 pm

I really enjoyed it. It was good, especially how you're so descriptive.

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Re: RE: Eye contact

by Venfort on 10-03-2008 5:23 pm

beautifullyxbroken wrote: I really enjoyed it. It was good, especially how you're so descriptive.

Thank you! That was what I was looking for. To describe feelings as they actually feel. Well, atleast for me. Very Happy

Venfort
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Posts: 117
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Location: Göteborg, Sweden

by infinitesilence on 10-03-2008 5:44 pm

I find it quite awesome.
I want to read more of yours. ^^

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by Venfort on 10-03-2008 5:53 pm

infinitesilence wrote: I find it quite awesome.
I want to read more of yours. ^^


Thank you so much! ^^
I can post all my poems if you want, but If you don't understand swedish it wouldn't do you any good. Razz

Venfort
Scene Kid
 
Posts: 117
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Location: Göteborg, Sweden

by infinitesilence on 10-03-2008 5:59 pm

Venfort wrote:
infinitesilence wrote: I find it quite awesome.
I want to read more of yours. ^^


Thank you so much! ^^
I can post all my poems if you want, but If you don't understand swedish it wouldn't do you any good. Razz


You're welcome. xD
Oh, and yeah.
That would defeat the purpose, lulz. =P

infinitesilence
Dies irae; dies illa.
 
Posts: 4594
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