death and heart poems by Bob the Builder

seeing you through different panes of the window..
can help me recognize yourself...
when you can see through the lies....
you will be able to take life away....
attach a noose to this and remove it from
my eyes., put a mask over the ugliness...
i want to be seen more than a fool,
but that chance will only come
in some picturesque world that im not apart of..
i will reap this life for what others have done to me,..


i am tortured by you from the inside out...
i cant escape your face.....im incapacitated by your eyes..
will you not let me breath,.. no all you know is your
concietedness....im decieved by all of your lies...
i hate this smell that lingures on my skin,.
if only i could remove this skeletal covering off of me..
the toxins of your breath as you breath in mine from a kiss
that should not have been planted on these sacred lips...,
haunted by this i see none other.,,
unable to be myself .., every corner feels like a snare..,
you've planted to keep me in this choke hold...

i know you've seen me inside and out...
but what do you know about me....
im broken from fear...
i cant seem to focus on what i truly want and love....
is it supposed to be this way..,
always confusing, never anyway of figuring
out this puzzle....
is there even a solution..
i feel as if im speakin to the air...help me understand your ways..
do you think everything is gonna be the same because you left..
your wrong i suffer and am terrified of waking up my heart..


im broken inside,.. just some shattered skeleton sitting here..
i want to be able to look through my eyes and see you in a different light
but that will never happen.. will it?
i want to be able to hold you one last time.. to be able
to smell your hair...
i want to be able to taste your lips...the sweet flavor that rolls off of them on to mine..
the way your hands seem to always put me into shock everytime you touch me..
but i've lost all of that and am now stuck searching for someone new but
will they be able to love me the same way you did or is this a hopeless cause......

I fight for you… Cuz I thought you were all
That I needed… But I can’t seem to figure out what I
Broke inside of you that makes it not mendable …
Just to see the way he
Makes you smile, the flirty glint in your eyes…
I could never make you do that…

You pour your heart out to him… all I get is silence…
That hurts so bad, I can already see my coffin
Being nailed shut inside of my head…
I can’t get your face out of my dreams…and I know
It should be this way because I love you but
It hurts to think about why he has something I don’t…
and that, that makes you giggle and drop your defences…

If only love was so simple as if to be a paper flower…
If torn or cut doesn’t fell anything….but the blood
That runs down its fake stem and the salted
Tears that stain its pedals and smear the ink
Are real as well….

I want to be perfect for you but I can’t, if
I could literally give you all of me I would…
Any thing you want I would give to you…
But all I see is a blade that appears in my hand
every time I see him with you….damnit… I wish I could
Chain you to me…but I fall and there’s no turning back…
Wishing that I was not the one chained to this hateful life…
Now I fail to break your chain on me…because no one truly loves me…

But I’ve been waiting for this time… that you would
Say yes and take me back… you did
But now im terrified…..killed in ways I have never realized
All I can say is I love you… but love is just a tangle of thorns
That I don’t want to get near for fear of getting poisoned …
Just take my eyes and gouge them out…
Because ignorance is bliss and I don’t want to
Know what your thinking if this ever was veiled in your mind…

Love , in the form of a question or of a razor blade…
If a question is there even an answer….
Or a razor blade that bloodied these wrists…
Does it even help me…
Why do I try when I am never satisfied
When I do get what I want… but not the way I wanted it..

If only love was a black hole it
Could suck up my pain, suffering, and sorrow..
If only you knew the way my heart was being torn in 2
Because I cant figure out all this shit that we call life……

your face so familiar
that it haunts all of my dreams
if i could, i would trace
your features with my lips...blindly
and you would feel nothing but, happieness...
just the way everything molds around your perfect figure...

God if only i could tell you
how much this is killing me..
to not be able to explian in words
how you make the world go round....

i lay awake trying to figure
out what im searching for....
but i know your heart flutters
like a butterfly when im around you...
just brings golden tears to my eyes.....
your eyes so mysterious no one knows
what they can tell... but i can.
i see the hope that radiates out of them
like some vampiric thirst when im around...

just to feel your porcelin skin and to feel
the heat radiate off of you onto me...
to have your smell lingur on my clothes..
to know that i could get that close and
you enjoy every minute of it...
your my angel disguised....

even though the picture isnt
painted your way yet...i wonder what
it would feel like to have you in my arms......

do i really make it that hard to breathe....?
is my presence just that intoxicating..?
you will see all you mean to me
that day when you have... MIDNIGHT BUTTERFLIES...................