Tofu
What is tofu?
Tofu is a flavorless, soft, jiggly food made from soybeans that have been soaked, ground up with water, coagulated into a jiggly curd-like substance, and then pressed into cute convenient blocks to be cooked, combined into other foods, or if you are truly hard core, eaten straight.
Tofu is also the most emo food you can eat, and can give you serious credibility if you use it correctly.
Why is tofu the emo food?
Tofu is emo for three reasons:
#1 It's so nutritious.
Why is this an emo quality, well it's simple, emo is directly associated with thinness. Because tofu is so good for you, (it has all of the essential amino acids, and is high in proteins,) adding it to your diet along with exercise will keep you fit, thin, and ready for those tight scene clothes.
#2 It's vegan.
Let's face it, what's more emo then ordering a veggie burger and showing off how you are not killing those poor cows. Tofu is veterinarian and vegan friendly, with no animal products involved in it's production.
#3 It's completely flavorless.
For those of you who have had tofu by itself it lacks any and all flavoring, it basically hurts to eat unprepared. This goes well with the age-old stereotype that emo is supposed to feel bland and unhappy. (which is untrue and stupid btw)
How can you eat tofu?
Tofu can be made into all sorts of things, stews, soups, it can be fried sauted or baked just like meat. The most difficult (and extremely disgusting) way to eat tofu is to eat it plain, unprepared, right out of the box, it's not for the faint of heart.


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