tradgedy strikes' poems

this is the first one i wrote, i dont think its that great. tell me how you like it, and i would appreciate some constructive criticism!

[[it doesnt have a title yet]]

I slide to the floor
shut my eyes.
my wrist weeps
and i tell myself
It doesn't hurt,
it doesn't ache,
it doesn't burn.
the razor drops from my hand
i watch it fall...fall...
i feel like i, too, am falling
down...down...
it hits the floor...echoing
my limbs begin to go numb
and i smile.
Now, i will be free.
Haunted by the past,
Terrified of the future,
Alone in the present,
But in death, i am free.

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that was good.alot better then some of the other whiney poems posers try to write. ALOT better. i like it

totally read the title as "one of my first orgasms" for some reason.

needless to say, this wasn't as interesting as I had hoped.

heres another one
wrote it today while i was...thinking
dont have a title for this one either

Alone at night
I lie awake on my bed
remembering those days with dread.
He filled me up
with so much fear
killing everything I held so dear.
He clasped his hands
around my soul
leaving marks as if they were coal.
I wanted to hide
I tried to run away
but he stuck to me like clay.
I freed myself
from his clutches
trying to forget his touches.
So here I sit
alone at last
unable to forget the past.
I am petrified
for, next year,
he will be here.

I envy ANYONE with even a low amount of poetry skill XD
I could never write something like that. I'm a writer, but when it comes to poetry, I just... "o.O"
They're actually alright

will this ever end?
will my soul never mend?

haunted by the past
knowing this will last

i try to hide
running from the tide

but i know i will be found
and buried deep inside the ground

a dark and scary tomb
destined as my doom

the tide looms overhead
and i know i will soon be dead

i shut my eyes with bliss
and wait for death's sweet kiss

Alone in my room
Held by the hands of darkness,
I await my death.

Are you listening?
This darkness will not subside
Save me from myself.

I walk out the door
And stare at the night sky
I leave. wont look back.

Haunted by the past,
Terrified of the future,
Alone in the present,
this part I like very much
But the over all theme I do not like.


Alone at night
I lie awake on my bed
remembering those days with dread.
He filled me up
with so much fear
killing everything I held so dear.
He clasped his hands
around my soul
leaving marks as if they were coal.
I wanted to hide
I tried to run away
but he stuck to me like clay.
I freed myself
from his clutches
trying to forget his touches.
So here I sit
alone at last
unable to forget the past.
I am petrified
for, next year,
he will be here.
this one is better theme-wise, but the structure is lacking, and the rhymes are forced

I walk out the door
And stare at the night sky
I leave. wont look back.
this fragment is good.

You've got potential as a writer