LostInTransition's selected few

I think that you've got a good start, maybe try some more structure and adding some metaphors/poetic devices or some more descriptive words. But deffinately not bad.

I like some of the stories you're telling, the first one reaped me in like a good short story. You should try writing more story poems, you're good at them. Not that you shouldn't push yourself out of your comfort zone.

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Thanks for the advice, it's much appreciated. I definitely need help improving
my writing skills lol.