Okay. So i don't really like the idea of airing out everything to a bunch of random people, but i need help. I am SERIOUSLY close to at least attempting suicide. The only reason I haven't yet is because of the guilt. I feel like if I were to kill myself, no one would forgive me for being so stupid. I don't see that very many people care that i'm super depressed, no matter how much they say they do. i get paranoid really easy, i can't concentrate on anything. i just can't take it anymore. its all so ridiculous, i dont' even see the point to being alive. i see no future, no one that will ever love me[damn that sounds emo] and no reason to continue my petty existence in this world of hypocrisy, lies, and betrayal.

that sounds pretty tragic ;_;

But there are definitely some things better to do than suicide aye. Get some professional help, start going to a counsciler etc.
If your thinking nobody would forgive you for killing yourself that probably means that there are in fact people that care for you.
Read through this post a few times, http://forum.emobucket.com/how-to-keep-your-world-turning-t15709.html and try some of the ideas suggested in there.

i hope ive helped and get better soon

First of all, you should talk to someone, anyone, who will listen. It's not worth taking your life away for the little things that are going wrong. There is more to live for in this world than there is to die for, belive me.
If no one will listen, then you have to do what you can. Write yourself a list of all the things that have ever made you happy or any thing nice that has ever been said to you. Even the most simple things. "they played my favorite song today," for example. it could work. Write out how you're feeling, or go for a nice long walk. Either way, don't keep it bottled up. You may not think so, but there are always people in this world who would miss you if you left.
And, there are always plenty of people on here who will help you to the best of their ability.