Ok. I am in some dire straits here. My ex (baby's mama) keeps messaging me and being a total witch. I haven't talked to her for like a week and a half now because I've been busy as hell and she's complaining about that. I'm like...I'm effing busy, wth. And she's like well, you could at least text me every once in a while or something. I'm like...I barely have time to eat and you expect me to message you. I've been nothing but nice, but now, I can't stand the way she treats me and she says she tolerates my crap not understanding that this is how my life is. I don't get much time to myself anymore. I miss my daughter, but I just can't take her mom's crap and now, it's going to wind up I don't get to talk to her anymore, and I'm afraid, perhaps, even to see her. I just told her that I don't ever want to be with her for her anymore, just for my daughter, and she told me not to talk to her anymore except when it comes time to send the child support check to my daughter. I want my daughter, but I'm not cold-hearted enough to take her from my ex for good. Does anybody have any advice, 'cuz I'm at a frickin' loss, not only of an OK friend, but also, potentially, the person who means most to me in my life (my daughter).

Shaun

You are asking a troop of teenagers. Not the best place.

There are a few older than teen age, and that's what I'm aiming for. Or anybody with any advice at all about my situation.

Quick summation: You broke up with your ex with whom you have a child and now want to continue a relationship with the child that the mother is against.

Yes? No?

As Strawberry said, yes, you're asking a bunch of teenagers (or people in their early 20s) what you should do with a very serious situation. Most importantly, you're asking over the Internet where we are inherently hindered by not knowing you, the mother, your daughter, and ever facet of your situation that a reasonable person would need to formulate any amount of effective advice.

That being said, there are plenty of people who have been in similar situations to you. Have you been to court over custodial rights, or is this just an agreed upon setup?

Well, I can't even go to court for custodial rights because one, I'm not in the same state, second, in Oklahoma, the father has no rights, and third, rights can't be established due to me being in the military, which I joined in the first place for financial security so I could provide for my daughter. Also, I understand about not knowing me; however, judging from provided information as a concerned parent wishing to continue a relationship with said child, despite custodial parent's wishes due to incompatability of both parents, what could one discern and what information could be provided to deal with such a traumatic turn of events? My daughter means the world to me and having her taken away like that hurts.

foreverusmc wrote: Well, I can't even go to court for custodial rights because one, I'm not in the same state, second, in Oklahoma, the father has no rights, and third, rights can't be established due to me being in the military, which I joined in the first place for financial security so I could provide for my daughter. Also, I understand about not knowing me; however, judging from provided information as a concerned parent wishing to continue a relationship with said child, despite custodial parent's wishes due to incompatability of both parents, what could one discern and what information could be provided to deal with such a traumatic turn of events? My daughter means the world to me and having her taken away like that hurts.

I swear those are the stupidest reasons for them to have to not let you have custodial rights. The Oklahoma one especially. Sorry I have no input that might help you, but it's just not right that the father has no rights. I would suggest attempting to speak with your ex and another person that is neutral on the situation and try to come up with some sort of compromise. I'm not at all sure about any legal things you might have to deal with, though.

This is when you go to court and stamp out visitation. Don't go on an agreement, get it outlined in a court document. Visits wherever, supervised or not, etc. Then your ex will not have a say in the matter. If she refuses, she is violating a court order and will be held in contempt of court, which is nothing light.