Little scratches on the inside
Tearing through my flesh
The need to escape me grows
My own blood, comes running out
Nerves that cannot feel, tear the flesh
Trapped in side myself
Devour from within, starting with my heart
Never needed that, never served me
Break the bones, shred the skin
Let me out of myself
Let me out of my skin
Take this body and let it rot away
Untitled
Darkness spiralling down
Spiralling out of control
The high is gone
The shakes and aches remain
It’s a place I know
I know far to well
Every time I go up
There’s further to fall
Down
Out of control
Loosing myself
In the darkness
Taking longer to crawl out
Out of this hole I’ve
Dug, to bury myself
I’ll be back
When I loose control
Again
And the moral of this tale... drugs are bad.
I hate
What this world is doing to me
I hate
The way they look at me
I hate
The judgements they pass
I hate
The unacceptance
I hate
The clones
I love
My own hatred
I love
My destruction
I love
My uncaring
I love
Everything that is not them
I love
Everything they hate
What this world is doing to me
I hate
The way they look at me
I hate
The judgements they pass
I hate
The unacceptance
I hate
The clones
I love
My own hatred
I love
My destruction
I love
My uncaring
I love
Everything that is not them
I love
Everything they hate
Shadows and frost
Cover the land
Footprints in the snow
Air frozen, still
Muted light through darkened sky
Foot prints in the snow
From when you ran
In fear from this beast
In the darkness
Claws dripping with your blood
Like red roses in the snow
I didn’t mean….
That is to say,
I never wanted….
Hurting you wasn’t my choice
All I wanted was to hold you
That was something
I can never do
Without causing you pain
Forever trapped
By my own torment
I never wanted this
I want you to see the real me
Not like this
You are beauty
I’m the beast
Big Brother Is Watching
Marching feet pass us
As we hide
Vehicles pass, rumble by
Copter over head
Searching this city
For insurrection
For people like us
Kick in the door
Storm the room
Tear it all apart
The common mans life is meaningless
Id please, show us your card
We need more proof
Of who you are
Not good enough
On the floor
Hands on your head
Don’t move
Are these the ones we’re looking for?
I said don’t move
Where’s it stashed?
You don’t know?
Well you’re fucked
‘Cos this gun is loaded
You’ve had your chance.
inspired by track 24 ghosts III by NIN
This is me when I'm angry. You won't like me when I'm angry
Hate and rage are all I feel
Blood red
Hate for
The pain he suffered
Blood red
Rage
Death will come at my hands
I will rend flesh from bone
Tear out the beating heart
In death as in life
Heartless
Death will come at my hands
Torn limb from limb
Agony will never end
In death as in life
Burn in hell
One so cold
Deep inside where darkness dwells.
Cold and still, no rise and fall
Nothing moves, nothing stirs
Inside the cavern the heart is still
Lifeless limbs twisted as they fell
A stillness never felt before
Within walls of flesh, structure of bone
A heart once beating, lays still
Lungs never to draw breath again
The Note
Dear Mother
I didn’t want it to be this way, I wanted to be all you wanted me to be. But that’s not me. You gave me life, but now I’m taking it away. I don’t hate you; I just don’t belong in this world.
Dear Father
I never knew you, even though we lived in the same house, we never talked. I was your son, but only by blood, you never knew me.
This is the note they found.
Found in his cold hand.
His mother cried, her son, the one she had borne, is no more
His father cried, for the son he had never known.
The death of their child tore them apart
Each blamed the other for the loss
Before you find a permanent solution to your temporary problems, think of the ones around you; think of how your solution will destroy their lives.
Live, its what you were born to do.
Save you from me (This is pretty fucked)
I asked for nothing,
And yet you gave me everything
I threw it all away.
You loved me still.
I lied
You forgave
I died
You didn’t let go
Even at the bottom of my grave
You’d be by my side.
If I set my self on fire
You would extinguish the flames
Yet its you that sets me alight
Its you that makes me breathe
I would run from you
To save you from me
And you would follow
The only way to keep you safe
To keep you from pain
The only way to save you from me
Is to take your life.
another sample from my automaticwriting experiment music:Pilgrimage by NIN
untitled
In the depth of night
The solders march
Ever on ward in the dark
Seeking their prey
A city to destroy,
Thousands of them marching
Like pilgrims to a holy place,
Death at their hands
The destiny of the city that sleeps
Unknown to those who slumber,
That death marches toward them.
Deep in the night the army comes, Thousand upon thousand
Like a plague sweeping the land,
Those that fall are left for the scavengers. Their leader is relentless,
Revenge is in his blood
Hell destroy all
Who offended him.
Death sweeps through the darkness.
The city falls.
Heart inside the soul
How can I be me when I am you
Unless you are me
But if you are me
Then I must be you
But that doesn’t make sense
Because I am me
And I am you
And you exist
Only in my imagination
A friend from childhood
Who should be long outgrown
I want to see what
You look like
So I look in the mirror
But that can’t be real
So I take up the knife
And peel this face away
Cos I wanna see what you look like
And you’re inside me.
This is a sample from my automaticwriting experiment. I was listening to 'The Mark Has Been Made' by NIN at the time
Darkness, lights distant. A blade in my hand
the blood drips slow, dark sticky blood,
its not mine, at least I don’t think it is,
my pulse races with the adrenalin,
a dark shadow lays on the ground.
My victim, not sure if they are dead or alive, rats scurry by.
The body stirred, not dead yet, I slice the flesh,
more blood runs to the ground. The hate the rage it lives within me,
my pulse beats faster, the body is still again.
A flash of light, another blade moves through the night.
Impact. I look down, buried to the hilt in my own chest.
my heart stops beating. I fall to the ground. I’m not dead yet,
blood drips slowly. A blade in my hand.......
